I am the last of the treasure hunters. I've spent my whole life finding treasure: not boring ordinary treasure, real treasure, under mountains, in dark jungles, at the very ends of the earth. You'd think I'd be rich, but I'm not. It usually gets taken away. Museums get rich. I don't. I just keep going. It's all I really love. Not long ago I got an unusual call. Most people don't know I exist, except government interferers and museum curators, and a few real die hards of treasure hunting who wish the good old days would come back. They won't. But I digress. I got a call from a man called Lord Fern, asking me to find a something for him. It's not something I ever do, find things for other people, but I've been getting bored and tired with my usual expeditions, and besides I haven't been on a usual expedition for over a year now. I'm beginning to fear that there isn't anything left for me to find. So I accepted.

I am the last of the treasure hunters. I've spent my whole life finding treasure: not boring ordinary treasure, real treasure, under mountains, in dark jungles, at the very ends of the earth. You'd think I'd be rich, but I'm not. It usually gets taken away. Museums get rich. I don't. I just keep going. It's all I really love. Not long ago I got an unusual call. Most people don't know I exist, except government interferers and museum curators, and a few real die hards of treasure hunting who wish the good old days would come back. They won't. But I digress. I got a call from a man called Lord Fern, asking me to find a something for him. It's not something I ever do, find things for other people, but I've been getting bored and tired with my usual expeditions, and besides I haven't been on a usual expedition for over a year now. I'm beginning to fear that there isn't anything left for me to find. So I accepted.